Honest Confessions of an Introverted Extrovert

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Caution: brutally honest confessions coming up…

Ask anyone who knows me if I’m an introvert or an extrovert and they’d probably just laugh and say, “An extrovert, duh!” Admittedly, I am a very talkative person, especially if I know someone very well. What the majority of people don’t know about me is that I have a very deep thought life and I’m terrified of meeting new people. So, in case you were wondering, here are a few characteristics of the type of person (aka me) that I like to call an introverted extrovert.

An introverted extrovert loves to make plans but hates following through with them.

Monday:

Friend: Hey, do you want to go to a movie on Friday!?

Me: Sure, sounds awesome!

Me: *Looks forward to movie all week and enjoys planning my day around it and completing my checklist before it’s time to go.*

Friday: 

Me: *Lays in bed bemoaning the fact that I have to get up and shower so I don’t scare away all other movie-goers* I wish I could cancel all of my plans and just read and eat chocolate all day!!!

The struggle is real, folks. I make plans better than a couple who just got engaged, but I am really bad at following through with them. The ironic part is that I always have a blast when I choose to emerge from my basement and actually socialize with someone besides my dog.

An introverted extrovert has a hard time making friends. 

Oh, sure, lot’s of people like me. I’m a talkative and friendly person when I’m comfortable. But there are few people who have actually known me for who I am. I crave deep conversation and absolutely abhor small talk. I tend to put myself in one-sided friendships when I try to help people through their struggles without telling them about mine. I love to encourage and help people! Something I struggle with is allowing people to encourage and help me.

Approaching someone new, especially a quiet person, is petrifying to me. Small talk makes my skin crawl, along with one-word answers and awkward silences. Being the one to burst the awkward bubble is terrifying!

An introverted extrovert draws energy from more than one source. 

Some days I draw energy from being with people. Other days I crave solitude, books, and writing papers. There are simply days when I really need 5 hours, a messy kitchen, and a good podcast (hey, don’t judge me, I love to clean). And then there are those days when I desperately need to socialize with people (besides those who live in my house, of course).

No one believes an introverted extrovert when they tell you that they are an introverted extrovert.

It’s true! I get, “C’mon Miriam, you are SO not an introvert- by any means! You are the most extroverted person that I know!” Only those of my own kind understand… 🙂

Introverted extroverts are not as confident as they seem.

In reality, I’m questioning my every word and struggling internally with my own little insecurities. I know this is sin, and I’m striving daily to get past it and find my confidence in the Lord.

Writing this post, I have discovered more about myself then I intended to. Every person, especially me, has to work past their little quirks and insecurities and simply live and act the way the Jesus dictates in His miraculous Word.

By the way, I would love to know if anyone out there is an introverted extrovert! We are few and far between, friend, so I would be thrilled to know if this post describes you!

 

4 thoughts on “Honest Confessions of an Introverted Extrovert

  1. Hi Miriam, and thank you for the post. I feel you, as I am a mixture of introvert and extrovert as well. Although, I do not think the division is that clear. I see it more as a scale where we move depending on the situation, people, day or period in life. I think the extrovert/introvert approach is getting bit old fashion as well. There is so much more to us. If you have time and interest, have a look at the HSP approach, which has been gaining plenty of focus around the world recently and find yourself being perfectly extroverted and yet longing for deep conversations and meaningful connections, such as much as time by yourself and silence too. This is a good website to start, as Dr Elaine Aaron has studied HSP for years: http://hsperson.com/

    This is the best thing I have learned about myself. That is why I am so eager to share it with others too!

    Ilona

  2. If anyone has access to Facebook lately, it seems as if the introverts have taken it over with posts about themselves and how they struggle in the world. 1/2 of me gets it! Don’t see much on FB from the extroverts though. But, the few posts I’ve seen from them …. I get what they are saying too!
    That’s because – like you – I am a Ambivert!
    You and I are cut from the same genetic cloth, Mims! I think it’s fun being “dual-verted”!!
    Great post.

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